Archive for September 15th, 2009

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The Secret Teachings of Airports

September 15, 2009

I’m going to Savannah, Georgia tomorrow with my sissy! We’ll be staying in a carriage house and eating lots of fried food beneath live oaks dripping with Spanish moss.

In honor of the occasion, I picked up Dan Brown’s latest excretion, “The Lost Symbol”, which was released today.

Why Dan Brown, do you ask? Picture me reading “The Lost Symbol” in beautiful historic Savannah:

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Now picture the reality: me reading Dan Brown in the chaos of DFW.

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Dan Brown is the quintessential airport author. I have no doubt that every bookseller in the place will have about a billion copies of his novel everywhere. And I’ll be one of the lucky many reading it!

I downloaded the book last night on my Kindle. The Kindle has a couple of disadvantages, the primary one being that using it in public makes me look like a techno-douche. But it offers advantages for travel. It: a) is small and compact, b) holds 100 books or so, and c) cloaks what I’m reading in pseudo-respectability. I can read Dan Brown with impunity!

I’ve already snuck a peek at the beginning. This is what appears just after the title page:

To live in the world without becoming aware of the meaning of the world is like wandering about in a great library without touching the books.

The Secret Teachings of All Ages

I literally clapped my hands with delight after reading that! It is so Dan Brown! He takes a statement that sounds like a platitude and makes it a “secret teaching”. I love it! We’re going to have an exciting journey together, he and I.

Sometimes I just need my trashy fiction fix.

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I Like to Kick Things

September 15, 2009

The Big M has really taken to his MMA training. For those of you unfamiliar with MMA, it stands for Mixed Martial Arts, which is approximately a combination of kickboxing, jiu-jitsu, and wrestling. The Big M now throws a beautifully terrifying jab-cross combination and was working on his round kick yesterday.

The round kick is designed to take out the opponent at the rib cage or at the knee. (Or if you’re really enthusiastic and flexible, at the head.) It’s a wonderfully fun kick to throw. It’s a timing kick. You throw your leg up in a front kick to give it power and at the last second rotate the hips and feet to bring your shin driving sideways into the target.

I got all excited that The Big M was learning it and convinced him to hold a pad against his hip so I could kick him.

*THWACK!*

It’s a beautiful sound, like a baseball hitting the sweet spot of the bat. The Big M looked pleasantly surprised at my power. I was too, given I hadn’t warmed up or even practiced this kick in probably 12 months.

*THWACK!!*

Even better! He looks mildly alarmed!

*THWACK!!!*

“Okay. That’s enough,” he said. I grinned. Heh. Heh. Still got it.

“I’m worried you’re going to kick the bathtub.”

Apparently I was just missing it on the wind-up. That would have been hard to explain, a broken foot from kicking the bathtub.

There’s not a point to this story, other than that I like to kick things. And The Big M is very tolerant.

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